TITLE: None For Me, Thanks
AUTHOR: Meghan O'Connor
FEEDBACK: Please! The more I get, the more you get!
DISCLAIMER: The LGM and anyone else you recognize are 1013's.
However, Rachel Ann MacGregor is all mine.
SPOILERS: The X-Files, all up to the last season finale, and the LGM
SYNOPSIS: Rachel is forced to reveal something she was afraid to
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This follows the last NC-17 scene at Rachel's
in "Thanking the Gods" in which she, um, "gives thanks" that
Frohike's still alive. Hehe This also explains the one condom-
related comment in the Shower Scene story.
They sat at the table as Frohike stirred the chili. Byers read a
magazine as Langly typed away on a laptop. Jimmy was reading the
paper, and Rachel poured sodas for everyone. Jimmy turned the page
and spoke up as she got the spoons. "Hey, the zoo has a new baby
chimp! I wonder if it's Simon's? Look, the picture is really
Byers looked over. "As cute as chimpanzees can be, I suppose.
Perhaps we'll visit later this week and find out. We can
congratulate him if he's a father. Speaking of which, did you notice
the article about the Senator? Apparently he's going to flex time to
be with his son as much as possible."
Jimmy grinned widely. "That's really cool. I told you guys he was a
good guy." Just then, he turned to Rachel as she sat down and took a
drink. "Hey Rae, do you ever want kids?"
Her heart rose in her throat as the question she'd been dreading hit
her like an elevator with its cable snapped. She stared into the
drink in her hand, silent as a small crash came from the kitchen.
Frohike had dropped the mug he was drinking from into the sink. He
was staring at her in shock, almost stuttering. "Uh, Rae… Uh, we
never… Shit, we didn't even think…"
She still wasn't looking at him. She answered Jimmy in a quiet tone
of voice that cut through the sudden tension in the room. "It's not
an issue. I'm not going to have kids."
Frohike's eyes were wide behind his glasses. "But Rae, what if… I
mean, it only takes one time…"
Langly was his usual tactful self. "You mean you'd prefer an
She sighed frustratedly. "No, I wouldn't. Like I said, I'm not
going to, so just leave it, ok?"
Trust Jimmy not to know exactly when to be sensitive. "But how do
you know? Can you see the future? Do you know how to predict
stuff? Or did you see one of those fortune tellers that go around
with the carnivals, `cause I did once, and her tent was all
creepy . . ." She cut him off shortly, almost yelling.
"No! I'm not going to have children because I can't! Now will you
shut the hell up?" They stared at her in shock, almost as much for
the profanity as the knowledge. After a minute of enduring their
gazes, she ran her hands over her hair. "Look, I'm sorry, Jimmy. I
didn't mean to snap at you."
Jimmy was trying to be kind, she could tell, but it was just
annoying. "But Agent Scully thought she couldn't have kids, and she
did. Why not you?" She had to put her hand on Langly's arm to keep
him from smacking Jimmy.
Slowly, Rachel took another drink of soda and spoke while looking
anywhere but at Frohike. "Like I told Jimmy, my brother died in a
car crash when I was 16 and he was 18. He was killed by a drunk
driver that hit the car broadside. What I didn't say is that it was
my fault and I was in the car too. I had been pestering Jason to
take me for an ice cream craving late on a school night. He finally
gave in and we snuck out to go get a banana split. Halfway there,
this drunk slams into us going at least 60. Jason was thrown clear
because he wasn't wearing a seat belt and was killed instantly. I
had a broken arm, a broken leg, and a concussion. Unfortunately,
Jason had a broken golf club for some reason on the dash. The impact
threw me against the dashboard, and the club tilted and impaled my
lower abdomen. When the car spun around, the movement tore the club
through my uterus. I was in surgery for six hours, and when they
were done, there was . . . Let's just say I have the eggs in the
refrigerator and the door's unlocked, but someone took the oven out.
Agent Scully could have a child because she somehow got her eggs
back. I just don't have the necessary equipment to have children."
Jimmy was the first to speak into the void. "I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to make you so upset, Rae."
She took a deep breath before patting him on the hand. "It's ok,
Jimmy, you couldn't have known the whole story. I'm sorry I yelled
at you. It's been a few years since then, I've come to terms with
it." She avoided looking at Frohike while dozens of thoughts flew
through her skull. What if, even at his age, he might want one?
What if he didn't want someone who couldn't? She couldn't bear to
meet his eyes. When she finally looked up, he was dishing the chili
into the bowls and sprinkling the grated Cheddar over them. Dinner
was filled with banal talk of the weather and their hacking exploits
and bounded by darting glances and lowered eyes. She finished her
food and rinsed her bowl, putting it in the sink. "I'm gonna go read
if you guys don't mind." She headed for the guest room, her
Byers just looked at Frohike as he crossed his arms. "Don't make me
have to tell you to go to her." Frohike got up quietly and headed
after her down the hall.
She ignored the knock on her door. Had he come to tell her he'd
hoped . . . She heard the door slide open and his footsteps cross
the room to where she sat against the headboard facing away. The bed
sagged as he sat next to her. She sniffed but didn't look over as he
placed a warm hand on her thigh. It took him a moment to
start. "Rachel, honey, I'm sorry Jimmy made you say something you
weren't ready to share. I want you to know it doesn't change the way
I feel, though."
She looked over, her eyes bright with tears. "And how do you feel?
I can't give you . . . that." He scooted closer and put his hands on
her face. He leaned his forehead against her and brushed away her
tears with his thumbs.
"Rae . . . I never asked that from you. I'm too old to be raising
kids, hell, you're probably young enough to be my daughter. Although
I'm not gonna think about that." She giggled a little and
sniffed. "I was just worried that I might have done that to you when
YOU didn't want it." He smiled and kissed her lightly. "Rae, I
don't know why you want this crazy old pervert, but I'm not gonna
complain. You're one of my best friends, and being able to love you
like this is just icing on the cake." She gasped, eyes wide with
"You . . . love me?" He nodded and pressed his lips to hers. She
smiled beneath his mouth. They broke apart after a long sweet
minute "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear that." She
suddenly grabbed him and hugged him fiercely, her breasts smashed
against his leather vest. Laughing out loud, she suddenly didn't
care that anyone else in the warehouse would hear. "I love you,