{"id":259,"date":"2012-10-19T00:42:28","date_gmt":"2012-10-19T00:42:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/?page_id=259"},"modified":"2012-10-19T05:28:36","modified_gmt":"2012-10-19T05:28:36","slug":"tommy-lee-jones-as-youve-never-heard-him-before","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/?page_id=259","title":{"rendered":"TOMMY LEE JONES (As you’ve never heard him before!)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Tommy<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

Editor:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Mr. Jones, thank you for agreeing to this interview.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tommy Lee Jones:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Aww, call me Tommy.<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 OK. Tommy, thank you for agreeing to this interview.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It’s my pleasure, really.\u00a0 I like you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I like you too, Tommy.\u00a0 I’d like to get right to the good stuff.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, I’m married, but I can get a quickie divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 No, I’d liked to ask you about Harrison Ford.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Oh, him.\u00a0 OK, shoot.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, what do you think of him?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I think he’s a jerk.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Could you elaborate?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I could, but will I?<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (sigh) Tommy, will you please elaborate on your previous statement about Harrison Ford?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 For you, sure I will.\u00a0 There’s just something about him that I don’t like.\u00a0 When we were making “The Fugitive,” he told me he thought that I compromised my job as an actor by appearing on “One Life to Live.”\u00a0 He said I give actors a bad name.\u00a0 Well, I told him I thought Bob Falfa was a geek.\u00a0 Then he said Doolittle Lynn was mean.\u00a0 Then I said Han Solo was…<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 Does Harrison’s hair look bad all the time?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It sure does.\u00a0 I’ve never seen hair that looked so God-awful.\u00a0 I mean, he’s got enough money, why can’t he get himself a decent hairdo?\u00a0 Kramer has better hair.\u00a0 Heh-heh, the big geek will really be mad at me now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Tommy, will you thank Harrison if you win the Best Supporting Actor Oscar this month?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0 Hell no!\u00a0 Why would I thank that schmuck for anything?\u00a0 Wait, actually, I could thank him for taking the wussy part in the movie, considering with his name, he could’ve taken either part.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So, will you be thanking him?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Uh, no.\u00a0 I don’t think so.\u00a0 Why drag him into my time of glory?\u00a0 He had his chance with “Witness,” but lost.\u00a0 Probably because he was such a God-awful singer and dancer.\u00a0 It’s a good thing he wasn’t around to try for the Gene Kelly part in “Singing in the Rain.”\u00a0 He would have desecrated the whole flick!<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Tommy, let’s move onto new territory.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 But all the territory in the U.S. has been settled.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I meant, let’s talk about something else.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Were you disappointed when you lost to Jack Palance a few years ago at the Oscars?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yup.\u00a0 I sure was.\u00a0 But he’s old and he did make a lot of movies, so I guess he deserved it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 How nice of you to say.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, well how many people will be receiving this issue?<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I don’t know.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What’s Sissy Spacek like?\u00a0 You worked with her in “Coal Miner’s Daughter” and “JFK.”<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She’s really nice.\u00a0 Talented too.\u00a0 I guess they almost cast Mike Nesmith in my role, but she talked them out of it.\u00a0 I owe her a lot.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 That’s interesting.\u00a0 Speaking of Mike Nesmith, what do you think of this picture of him?\u00a0 <\/span>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.\u00a0 Hee, hee, hee, hee.\u00a0 Ha, ha, ha, ha!<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You think it’s funny?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, he looks like a monkey!<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, he was a Monkee.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He was?\u00a0 Did he have some sort of operation?<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 No, he was in the group, the Monkees, from the Sixties.\u00a0 You were around then.<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh yeah, I remember them.\u00a0 They were pretty lame.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Tommy!\u00a0 The publisher of\u00a0CQ<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0is a huge Monkees fan!<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So?\u00a0 I’m not.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 Why do you think this picture of Mike Nesmith is so funny, besides the fact that you think he looks like a monkey?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, he looks like he’s trying to be a fashion model or something.\u00a0 And it ain’t working! (doubles over with laughter)<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Tommy, Mike Nesmith is very rich and talented.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, so am I.\u00a0 What’s your point?<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My point is that you shouldn’t make fun of him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Why, is he your husband or something?<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ex-husband, actually.\u00a0 His alimony is paying for this publication.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh.\u00a0 Well, gee, he’s a great guy.\u00a0 The greatest guy in the world.\u00a0 I really love his music and his taste in fashion.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You’ve given us permission to allow a segment on Harrison Ford’s upcoming exercise video. Have you seen it?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, and it sucks.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What’s wrong with it?\u00a0 Is it unsafe?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I don’t know.\u00a0 If he’s in it, it must suck.<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 But he was in “The Fugitive.”<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 But so was I, and I cancelled out his suckiness.<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Suckiness?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 Like discoey.\u00a0 There are all these great new words out now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 I’d like to ask you some fun questions now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 But I was already having fun.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, this will be funner.<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Funner?\u00a0 I hadn’t heard that one yet.\u00a0 Let me write that down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If you could have replaced Harrison Ford in any of his movies, which one would it have been and why?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hmmmmm.\u00a0 I think it would have to be Indiana Jones because I look better in a hat and I know how to spell Neolithic.<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If you could have been in any musical, which one would it have been and why?<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That would have been “Grease” because I can hand jive.<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thank you Tommy.\u00a0 This truly has been an enlightening interview.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It’s over already?\u00a0 This is the best interview I’ve ever had.\u00a0 I’ll miss you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I’ll miss you, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Copyright \u00a9 1994 by\u00a0SJG<\/span>. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n

\n


\nNOTE: This is a joke interview – nothing in here was stated by Tommy Lee Jones. Please do not take anything seriously.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Editor:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Mr. Jones, thank you for agreeing to this interview.\u00a0 Tommy Lee Jones:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Aww, call me Tommy. E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 OK. Tommy, thank you for agreeing to this interview.\u00a0 T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It’s my pleasure, really.\u00a0 I like you.\u00a0 E:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I like you too, Tommy.\u00a0 I’d like to get right to the good stuff.\u00a0 T:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, I’m married, but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":3,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-259","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=259"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/259\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":286,"href":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/259\/revisions\/286"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grilled-cheese.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}